Speaking of Nathaniel, we're both on a bit of a roll, having been even over the last 2 weeks and both going 18-10 during that span. Nathaniel also reclaimed his spot in 2nd in Week 9 and padded his distance last week as well. Even looking at the standings though, we're all doing pretty well with out picks, beating more than half the ESPN field. How many of those are people who aren't filling out picks, I'm not sure. Let us have our glory, dang it!
Either way, here's what we're picking for Week 11.
Miami Dolphins at Buffalo Bills (-1.5)
Lucas: Bills. I don't know what to make of this game, other than this is why the NFL shouldn't do so many Thursday night games. Buffalo came up just short against New England, with poor playcalling at the end, but Miami just got killed by Tennessee, who a week before was annihilated by the Bears' defense. I'd say this game would end in a tie, but San Francisco/St. Louis just ended in one and everyone would probably still be confused as to how a game ends in a tie so I don't see another one happening. A man can dream though. Also, Miami is due some bad sports karma.
Nathaniel: Bills. You know, the Bills still have five home games left and they've gotten the Patriots, 49ers, and Texans out of the way. May there still be a chance we see them in the playoffs? ...(thinking)...No, that's completely insane. They'll probably win this game, though.
Arizona Cardinals at Atlanta Falcons (-9.5)
Lucas: Falcons. The Saints provided the blueprint for beating Atlanta in that their run defense is somewhat suspect. Arizona's starting running back is LaRod Stevens-Howling. Have fun.
Nathaniel: Cardinals. Arizona will lead by five with three seconds left, but then the Falcons will perfectly recreate the Cal-Stanford Band play and return the ensuing kickoff for a touchdown thanks to seventeen laterals and an illegal block from Tony Siragusa, who comes out from his sideline man cave to join the action one last time. I'm telling you, the Falcons can't lose at home.
Cleveland Browns at Dallas Cowboys (-7.5)
Lucas: Cowboys. Look at Brandon Weeden, now to me. Now back to Brandon Weeden, now back to me. I am not Brandon Weeden. I at least know not to get hit by an American flag or throw on the same play as a pass was batted down. I just threw a back shoulder touchdown to Nathaniel. Brandon Weeden can't do that.
Nathaniel: Cowboys. Only if Morris Claiborne commits less than seven penalties, though. This will be a harder feat for Morris than you realize.
Green Bay Packers at Detroit Lions (+3.5)
Lucas: Packers. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't concerned about Green Bay's massive injury bug, but Detroit's defense is terrible and Aaron Rodgers is indoors. And Ndamukong Suh hasn't been suspended yet. It's against the Pack. He's due.
Nathaniel: Lions. If the Lions don't win this one, their battleship is COMPLETELY SUNK. Metaphorically, of course; as far as we know, the NFL doesn't rely on any actual use of the game Battleship to decide game outcomes. Although if they did, I think we can all agree the Eagles would lose every game. NEVER CLUSTER ALL YOUR SHIPS IN THE SAME AREA, ANDY!
Cincinnati Bengals at Kansas City Chiefs (+3.5)
Lucas: Bengals. Was that really Romeo Crennel on the sidelines on Monday? His team actually looked halfway decent. Granted it was against a Steelers team that was without Big Ben for half the game. The way Cincy looked against the G-men? I'll take it.
Nathaniel: Bengals. I'm sorry, it's going to take more than one week of Kansas City looking like an actual NFL franchise before I'm convinced to take the points with them. And to follow up on my answer to the previous game, the Chiefs would be equally, if not moreso, boned than the Eagles if winning at Battleship were the criteria for success. I would give almost anything to watch Romeo Crennel and Andy Reid play against each other. It would be utterly mind-blowing.
New York Jets at St. Louis Rams (-3.5)
Lucas: Rams. Jeff Fisher's team played a very tough San Fran team to a tie, though they should have won that game in overtime twice. Then again, it's the Jets this week. There are few teams I'd pick Rex Ryan against. The Rams are not one of them.
Nathaniel: Rams. I actually think Rex Ryan is a pretty good coach, but don't you kinda have to fire the guy after basically half his players gave disparaging quotes anonymously about Tebow? Doesn't matter that they're right. IT'S THE PRINCIPLE OF THE MATTER.
Philadelphia Eagles at Washington Redskins (-3.5)
Lucas: Redskins. I should have known Vick would go down with an injury before getting benched. Even if he is healthy Sunday, I don't see the Eagles doing anything about it. Too much ineptitude.
Tampa Bay Buccaneers at Carolina Panthers (+1.5)
Lucas: Buccaneers. I know it's largely been Doug Martin, but you have to give some credit to JAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASH FREEMAN! (copyright: Bill Simmons)
Nathaniel: Panthers. Remember how bad the Buccaneers' offense looked early in the season? They could barely get a first down against the Cowboys. Now they're rolling up and down in the field in a glorious fashion and making Greg Schiano chortle with glee. Naturally, I must take the Panthers.
Jacksonville Jaguars at Houston Texans (-15.5)
Lucas: Jaguars. I knew the line would be big, but this big? I've gotten burned by quite a few big lines this year. Not chancing this one. And if Arian Foster turns into Tecmo Bo to beat the spread, so be it.
Nathaniel: Jaguars. Look, I know this is going to blow up in my face, but...15.5 POINTS!!! That's enormous! That's a bigger spread than the Thanksgiving feast that gets served at Dan Jiggetts' house every year. I...I just can't do it.
New Orleans Saints at Oakland Raiders (+4.5)
Lucas: Saints. Let's see: two good passing games with Drew Brees and a surprisingly gaudy Carson Palmer against two BAD pass defenses? And the over/under is only 54.5? Palmer will likely make more mistakes than Brees and swing the game, but still.
Nathaniel: Raiders. Probably the closest thing we will ever see to two offenses just playing against air. First one to force a third down wins.
San Diego Chargers at Denver Broncos (-7.5)
Lucas: Broncos. I think last week's press conference was the closest Norv Turner got to turning into the Incredible Hulk, though he was still far off. Peyton throwing for 4 touchdowns in the 4th quarter to come from behind? That might do it.
Indianapolis Colts at New England Patriots (-9.5)
Lucas: Colts. While yes, Andrew Luck doesn't have the same prowess on the road as he does at home (or in Jacksonville), with the Pats defense, there's no way they don't give up their fair share of points. They'll still score plenty, but 10 points is a lot to shoot for. Then again, maybe I'm still all in on #Chuckstrong. Speaking of which...
Nathaniel: Patriots. If there's any coach in the league who will be wholly unsympathetic to the message of #Chuckstrong, it will be Bill Belichick. "It's very sad that Chuck is sick and we're hoping and praying that he gets better as soon as possible. Now let's run the no-huddle and beat the Colts by 50."
Baltimore Ravens at Pittsburgh Steelers (-3.5)
Lucas: Ravens. Big Ben's shoulder is a hefty price to pay for those bee jerseys Nathaniel and I both decried a couple weeks ago. Time to resurrect the Ravens/Bane parallel.
Chicago Bears at San Franciso 49ers (-4.5)
Lucas: Bears. Alex Smith is likely to play on Monday, but what about Cutler? These teams are about as even as it gets, especially between Alex Smith and Jason Campbell, but I take the Bears defense over just about anyone.
Nathaniel: 49ers. Honestly, it might be for the best if Jay Cutler doesn't play. I still have nightmares from the last time he played at Candlestick. NO, JAY! JUST BECAUSE DESMOND CLARK IS IN THE END ZONE DOES NOT MEAN YOU SHOULD THROW IT TO THE FOUR 49ERS WHO ARE STANDING IN FRONT OF HIM!
Should be a fun week of games once again. I worry about Nathaniel and I after we played a tough round of football today, especially given this note he gave me with his picks.
I fear I may not be able to move at all tomorrow. They'll have to wheel me into work in a wheelbarrow and then prop me up at my computer Stephen Hawking-style. How do actual football players do it?!Records so far
Lucas: 77-69, 10-4 last week
Nathaniel: 69-77, 9-5 last week
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