COAS/SSLYAR Pigskin Pick 'Em Week 17

Hope you all had a Merry Christmas, dear readers! It was nice to get a little break from everything and spend time with my fiancee and her family as well as with my dad and my brother. And no, we didn't kill each other despite the differences in football teams illustrated to your left. We'll see how long that lasts depending on the Minnesota-Green Bay game on Sunday and how Logan's Bears do in the finale with Detroit.

But there are 14 other games besides those, and they all are important in the scheme of the Pigskin Pick 'Em that Nathaniel and I have undertaken this entire season, and it's been a fun ride. Even though I've led wire to wire, my lead has never been insurmountable and Nathaniel and I have both had our fair share of great jokes regarding these games and some excellent insight as well. It all comes down to this final week, as my lead holds at 3 games. We disagree on 11 games again this week though, so he has a shot for a final come-from-behind victory. He may have to do some of it from Missouri though, as he's on vacation and as a Christmas gift to me, got me his picks on Christmas Day. It was a good gift to get after I got him a Bear Claw. (No, really.)

Without further ado, let's get on with our final picks of the regular season.

Tampa Bay Buccaneers at Atlanta Falcons (-3.5)

Lucas: Falcons. Atlanta doesn't have anything to play for on Sunday, so we probably won't see much of Matt Ryan, but they're at home and it's still the regular season. Give them a tuneup game to get their fans feeling confident so they can get ousted by Washington in the Divisional round.

Falcons. Falcons. Ah, Week 17 when you've gotten everything clinched: to sit or play your starters? That is the question. I think Mike Smith plays his starters as long as the game is competitive - which, if it's like last year's Bucs-Falcons season-ending game, won't be very long.

New York Jets at Buffalo Bills (-3.5)

Lucas: Jets. Doesn't this seem like the kind of game where Rex is benefitted by Greg McElroy being able to light up a bad defense and thus somehow keep his job while Tim Tebow looks on dejectedly?

Nathaniel: Bills. Is it possible that Greg McElroy is worse than Mark Sanchez? In terms of unintentional comedy, the answer is of course "NO" but I don't think Marky Mark would've been sacked eleven times by a Chargers team playing out the string. He would've just turn the ball over two or three extra times instead. Man, I'm gonna miss the hilarity these two teams bring!

Baltimore Ravens at Cincinnati Bengals (-2.5)
Lucas: Bengals. Baltimore isn't the same team away from the Bay and Cincy is starting to get hot at the right time. I'm riding the hot hand on this one.

Nathaniel: Ravens. Baltimore still (theoretically) will have something to play for; Cincinnati will not. Thus...

Chicago Bears at Detroit Lions (+3.5)

Lucas: Bears. Fun matchup to think of: what happens this season if Jay gets sacked by Ndamukong Suh? I feel like there's a possibility he might die from blunt trauma after Suh kicks him in the kidney. But I also feel like the Bears can contain Megatron (something about Peanut Tillman and sausage casing).

Nathaniel: Lions. One last misguided Lions pick for the road! I'm fairly certain half of my incorrect picks this year have involved the Loins - wouldn't mind another, either.

Jacksonville Jaguars at Tennessee Titans (-4.5)
Lucas: Jaguars. I really don't like this matchup. Tennessee got killed by Green Bay on Sunday (which was fun) and at the same time, Jacksonville's quarterback situation is worse than pretty much every team's except for Arizona. Even so, I'm taking the points.

Nathaniel: Titans. Whenever you get a chance to pick a 4.5 point favorite that lost by 48 points the previous week, you just have to do it.

Houston Texans at Indianapolis Colts (+3.5)
Lucas: Colts. Houston is still playing for home field, but they've struggled lately, and Chuck Pagano is back this week. You know how this is going to turn out.

Nathaniel: Texans. Actually rooting for the Colts this week, though, because of A): Chuck Pagano (duh) and B): the potential hilarity of Houston leading the AFC virtually the entire season and then choking the last two weeks so badly that they don't even get a bye. THAT'S WHAT YOU GET FOR NOT TAKING CARE OF BUSINESS AGAINST THE VIKINGS, YOU STEAKHEADS.

Carolina Panthers at New Orleans Saints (-4.5)

Lucas: Saints. New Orleans salvages a .500 season while Sean Payton orders a bounty on Roger Goodell, thus suspending him for another season. Was it really worth it, Sean?

Nathaniel: Panthers. Two teams with a real good shot at the playoffs next year - as long as they get better coaching out of Ron Rivera (Panthers) and the last janitor left in the building (Saints).

Philadelphia Eagles at New York Giants (-7.5)

Lucas: Giants. This is a really high line, don't get me wrong. But Michael Vick is starting. Even with a struggling defensive line, the G-Men will probably still come up with 7 takeaways.

Nathaniel: Eagles. Godspeed, Andy. May you soon find another organization that values walrus mustaches, crazy reverse toss plays out of the shotgun inside the five-yard line, and using up both challenges in the first three minutes of the game. Your presence will be sorely missed.

Cleveland Browns at Pittsburgh Steelers (-6.5)
Lucas: Steelers. And a Weeden shall lead them. Oh wait, he's hurt.

Nathaniel: Steelers. At the risk of seeming biased, I'd just like to say the following: HAHAHAHAHA THE STEELERS ARE MISSING THE PLAYOFFS HAHAHAHAHA TAKE THAT INTO YOUR BATHROOM ROETHLISBERGER HAHAHAHAHA FIRE OMAR EPPS HAHA

Kansas City Chiefs at Denver Broncos (-15.5)
Lucas: Broncos. If anyone can beat this huge a spread, it's Peyton Manning against the worst team in the AFC. And with home field still up for grabs, I'm not betting against Peyton.

Nathaniel: Chiefs. I'm aware this directly contradicts my (correct) Broncos pick from last week in which I explained that if you can count on anyone to take care of business against a bad team, it's Peyton Manning. Why the change of heart this week? I'm wildly inconsistent.

Green Bay Packers at Minnesota Vikings (+3.5)
Lucas: Packers. Green Bay's defense pretty much shut down Chris Johnson last week, but Adrian Peterson is in another class by himself. I wouldn't be surprised if he breaks Eric Dickerson's record on Sunday. At the same time though, Aaron Rodgers is indoors. Yes please.

Nathaniel: Vikings. Seems like the teams that control their own playoff destiny AND have a home game the final week of the season usually take care of business, if only because they're being buoyed by 68,000 raucous souls who desperately want their team to get shellacked by twenty-seven the next week in the Wild-Card Round. Also, Adrian Peterson.

Miami Dolphins at New England Patriots (-10.5)
Lucas: Dolphins. These past two weeks have given me no confidence in a double digit favored Patriot team. Of course, this means Brady will throw for 500 yards and 6 touchdowns in a dominating performance. Have fun Tom.

Nathaniel: Dolphins. The Patriots are either going to win by 35 or they're going to juuuuuusssssstttt skate by and after last week's debacle in Jacksonville, I'm a little gun-shy. Only out of anger, Darth Hoodie. ONLY OUT OF ANGER. (And sometimes warmth).

Lucas note: Nathaniel wins joke of the week. Maybe of the year.

Oakland Raiders at San Diego Chargers (-4.5)
Lucas: Chargers. I could see Matt Leinart/Terrelle Pryor throwing for 400 yards but for only 1 score and 3 picks in one final "empty yards" performance that may or may not save Norv Turner's job. *cue downtrodden Chargers fans shaking their heads sadly*

Nathaniel: Chargers. Sadly, Carson Palmer's quest to become the first quarterback to throw for 5,000 yards AND lose 12 games in a season has come to an end. You've got lofty shoes to fill, Matt Leinart/Terrelle Pryor.

Arizona Cardinals at San Francisco 49ers (-14.5)
Lucas: 49ers. I'm way too confident in huge lines, but with a first round bye still up for grabs, I think the Niners go all out against an Arizona team that I would still volunteer to take maybe one snap at quarterback for... on the condition that all my medical costs are billed to the team after Justin Smith destroys half the bones in my body.

Nathaniel: 49ers. If Ken Whisenhunt has any heart at all, he won't throw Ryan Lindley out there in this game. It's been devastating enough to watch him play against merely good and above-average defenses. WHAT CHANCE DOES HE HAVE AGAINST THE 49ERS DEFENSE????? Actually on second thought, Ken, leave him in, it'll be funny.

St. Louis Rams at Seattle Seahawks (-10.5)

Lucas: Seahawks. I still hate this team for the way they acted after the Week 3 debacle, but holy crap are they really good right now.

Nathaniel: Rams. No, I haven't noticed the giant fireball shooting out of Russell Wilson's keester the past month and a half, why do you ask?

Dallas Cowboys at Washington Redskins (-3.5)
Lucas: Redskins. Sorry, Tony. I'm sure you'll do everything in your power to win this game, but that RGIII fellow is just too much.

Nathaniel: Cowboys. But Washington ends up winning by one or two after Dan Bailey shanks a nineteen yard field goal with three seconds left. THIS IS YOUR SCHADENFREUDE MOMENT OF THE YEAR, AMERICA. SAVOR IT.

Records So Far

Lucas: 128-112 (8-8 last week)

Nathaniel: 125-115 (9-7 last week)