COAS/SSLYAR Pigskin Pick 'Em Week 5

It's amazing what a difference a week makes. Week 3 was a terrible week for me and Nathaniel, both in terms of picks and at least for me in what happened on the field. Instead this week, we both finished above .500 (I'm very pleased with how Week 4 went), both our teams won, and I got followed on Twitter by Green Bay's M.D. Jennings. Not a bad haul. And to you, M.D. Jennings, if you're reading this: thank you for the follow, good luck, and Go Pack Go!

Anyway, Nathaniel and I hammered out picks for this upcoming week, now that Lovie can move on to the second quarter of his season.

Arizona Cardinals at St. Louis Rams (+1.5)

Lucas: Cardinals. Kevin Kolb or not this team is for real. This should be a good game but I like this spread.

Nathaniel: Rams. I played an electronic game of Yahtzee once where I rolled Yahtzees on my first four rolls and ultimately scored 826 – I thought I’d broken the game. The Cardinals’ season so far has basically been the equivalent of that one crazy round of Yahtzee. I scored a 193 the very next game. Let’s see if the Cards can do any better.

Miami Dolphins at Cincinnati Bengals (-4.5)

Lucas: Bengals. Do you really think Ryan Tannehill can throw for 400 yards again? I mean, it is the Bengals defense, but still…

Nathaniel: Dolphins. I hate to say a team is “due” to win a game, but if anybody is, the Dolphins certainly are. They outplayed both the Jets and Cardinals and Ryan Tannehill is wildly exceeding the puny, puny expectations I had for his season. He’s completed MULTIPLE forward passes this year! It’s still shocking, just to type that out.

Green Bay Packers at Indianapolis Colts (+7.5)

Lucas: Packers. Aaron Rodgers’ career indoors including playoffs: 378-552, 4,977 yds, 36 TD, 6 INT. That’s a 113.9 passer rating, by the way. Facing a rebuilding Colts defense? It’ll be like Goku versus Nappa and Vegeta.

Nathaniel: Colts. Who knows, maybe this is the week the Packers turn it on and win 45-17. But the Green Bay team I’ve seen so far this year doesn’t deserve to give 7.5 points on the road against anybody…well, anybody other than Kansas City.

Baltimore Ravens at Kansas City Chiefs (+4.5)

Lucas: Ravens. “I was wondering what would break first: your spirit, or your Cassel.”

Nathaniel: Ravens. This line is bananas. Has Vegas seen Baltimore’s offense this year? More importantly, have they caught three minutes of any Chiefs game? You’d have to tack on another touchdown to this line before I would even consider taking Kansas City. Patently ridiculous.

Cleveland Browns at New York Giants (-9.5)

Lucas: Browns. Coughlin’s team covered last week! I’m 2-2 in Giants games! (Corrected after last week's mistake in Nathaniel's post). The fact that this line is so high probably means Cleveland will backdoor cover! Of course, that probably also means Eli will throw for 5 touchdowns, 2 to Victor Cruz as CBS’ TV crew admonishes NBC for playing salsa music on Sunday night under his touchdown.
Nathaniel: Giants. Don’t really have anything interesting to add to this, so let’s all just enjoy the great Eli GIF from last Sunday night one more time...

Philadelphia Eagles at Pittsburgh Steelers (-3.5)

Lucas: Steelers. Mike Tomlin’s team has won 4 straight coming off the bye week, and amazingly Vick and crew took care of the ball last week. Return to normalcy?

Nathaniel: Eagles. Not sure what I’m getting from either team here. Well, scratch that, I have some basic idea of what’s going to transpire; Michael Vick’ll hold onto the ball too long and get COMPLETELY F-ED UP at least 15 times, James Harrison will try to literally decapitate someone, etc. The score, however…I could see the score ending up any which number of ways. Thus, I’m taking the points and hiding.

Atlanta Falcons at Washington Redskins (+3.5)

Lucas: Falcons. Matt Ryan is being touted as the early MVP by some folks. He adds to his numbers in Washington in a fun contest against RG3. Speaking of RGIII...

Nathaniel: Redskins. I’d just like to take a moment to write a special message to Robert Griffin III: LEARN HOW TO SLIDE RGIII. WE NEED YOU TO STAY HEALTHY AND PLAY FOR A LONG TIME. AND AS LONG AS YOU RUN UPRIGHT AND LET ANY NO-NAME LINEBACKER SMACK THE GATORADE AND SUBWAY SANDWICHES OUT OF YOU, THAT AINT’ GONNA HAPPEN. PLEASE CONSIDER TAKING CARE OF YOURSELF OUT THERE. THANK YOU. /end all-CAPS.

Seattle Seahawks at Carolina Panthers (-3.5)

Lucas: Panthers. Seattle is not the same team away from Century Link. And Cam Newton is probably due for a bounceback game.

Nathaniel: Seahawks. The matchup between Cam and the Panthers offense against that outstanding Seahawks front line may be the most fun matchup of the week – other than possibly that one quarterback duel they’re having in Massachusetts at the same time. When in doubt, take the points.

Chicago Bears at Jacksonville Jaguars (+5.5)

Lucas: Bears. I want to amend this matchup: Chicago Bears defense at Jacksonville Jaguars (+5.5). I’m still taking the Bears. Holy crap, this defense looks like 2006 all over again.

Nathaniel: Bears. Unless Lance Briggs is still too winded from all the running he had to do last Monday night…

Tennessee Titans at Minnesota Vikings (-5.5)

Lucas: Vikings. I’ll take an 85-90% Adrian Peterson over a “100%” Chris Johnson. Also Christian Ponder over a probably washed up Matt Hasselbeck.

Nathaniel: Titans. Tennessee has actually had surprising success moving the ball this year and I don’t trust Christian Ponder to fully take advantage of the Titans’ defensive inadequacies. This should be a close one.

Denver Broncos at New England Patriots (-6.5)

Lucas: Broncos. Good to see one more Brady/Manning duel. The Pats win but don’t beat the spread. Too much firepower on both sides.

Nathaniel: Broncos. I’d just like to extend a hearty SCREW YOU to the NFL for not putting this game on Sunday night where it would run unopposed. As a Bears fan, I feel an obligation to watch my team play in the same time slot, but I’m going to be flipping back and forth between that game and this one like crazy and I’m not going to be able to enjoy either of them properly and I’m sure fans of the other teams playing at the same time feel the same way. Not cool.

Buffalo Bills at San Francisco 49ers (-9.5)

Lucas: 49ers. I almost took Buffalo here, but then I remembered their defense is atrocious and gave up 52 to New England last week (somewhat understandable, minus the fact that almost all of it came in the 2^nd half) and 48 to the Jets in Week 1. The JETS! Even Alex Smith can beat this spread.

Nathaniel: Bills. 9.5 points is an awfully large spread to be giving a team that’s averaging close to 30 points a game, isn’t it?

San Diego Chargers at New Orleans Saints (-3.5)

Lucas: Chargers. New Orleans is starting to get its act together, but still holding on the interim interim coach I think the Bolts at least cover.
Nathaniel: Saints. I was all prepared to write something this week about how this would be a perfect time to pick the Saints because they’re going to be undervalued and the Chargers aren’t actually any good and so on and so forth. And this line comes out. Well then. Screw it, I’m still taking the Saints.

Houston Texans at New York Jets (+7.5)

Lucas: Texans. Here’s the intriguing question: will one of Houston’s skill players outgain the entire Jets offense? I say yes. This is going to be a laugher.
Nathaniel: Texans. Maybe the Jets will get more first downs than turnovers this week…

Records so Far
Lucas: 35-28 (11-4 last week)
Nathaniel: 26-37 (8-7 last week)