Fortunately for me, this isn't based on money. Though looking at records, I'd probably have made money were I gambling. Alas, I'm not that crazy, so I'm sticking to picking for pride at this point. I need just 6 correct picks over the next two weeks combined to finish over .500 for the season. I like those odds.
So without further ado, here are my Week 16 picks.
Sunday, Early Afternoon
Miami Dolphins @ Buffalo Bills (+2.5)
Lucas: Dolphins. Two years in, I feel as though Ryan Tannehill is going to be at least a serviceable NFL quarterback. He's done a good job with this Miami team this year, especially given the distractions they had to deal with a month or two ago.
Minnesota Vikings @ Cincinnati Bengals (-7.5)
Lucas: Vikings. I don't care that he averaged less than two yards a carry. MATT ASIATA IS THE KEY TO THE VIKINGS' TURNAROUND. SCREW THAT ADRIAN PETERSON GUY AND HIS SUPERHUMAN RUNNING ABILITY!
Cleveland Browns @ New York Jets (-2.5)
Lucas: Jets. If Cleveland can't win despite two defensive touchdowns... I can't trust them, even with Josh Gordon.
Lucas: Hold on, I'm not done laughing hysterically at the Cowboys yet. Let's come back to this one.
Denver Broncos @ Houston Texans (+11.5)
Lucas: Broncos. Normally I'd be leery of this big a line, but as bad as Houston has been, plus Peyton being indoors, I'll lay the points here.
Tennessee Titans @ Jacksonville Jaguars (+5.5)
Lucas: Jaguars. Two bad AFC South teams. I'm taking the points out of principle. That or I'm a closet Jaguars fan who has yet to come out. Probably the former.
Indianapolis Colts @ Kansas City Chiefs (-6.5)
Lucas: Colts. Indy seems to rise to the occasion against strong opponents, hence victories over Denver and Seattle. Granted, both of these were at home and Arrowhead is a tough place to play. But there's no way Indy will let Jamaal Charles score five touchdowns again.
Tampa Bay Buccaneers @ St. Louis Rams (-5.5)
Lucas: Rams. Is the Edward Jones Dome the best-kept home field advantage secret in the NFL? I didn't notice any weird vibes coming out of that building when I went to St. Louis a few years back. Then again, maybe it's because I was in St. Louis and the overwhelming stench of an aura was coming from Busch Stadium.
Dallas Cowboys @ Washington Redskins (+3.5)
Lucas: Cowboys. No, seriously. The Skins are in such disarray and Tony Romo should be able to tear them apart. Besides, we've seen this movie before. Dallas has to position themselves for the annual Week 17 NFC East Title Game that they will proceed to blow in some new mind blowing fashion no one has conceived of yet that somehow involves Tony Romo while Jerry Jones is doing something inappropriate up in his luxury suite.
New Orleans Saints @ Carolina Panthers (-3.5)
Lucas: Panthers. Bold prediction: Carolina wins the NFC South. New Orleans is ridiculously vulnerable away from the Superdome. I'd call the Saints a one-and-done still, but they'd be a wild card still and Lord knows they could beat either the East or North winner at their place.
Sunday, Late Afternoon
New York Giants @ Detroit Lions (-9.5)
Lucas: Giants. Anyone up for America's new favorite reality show: "Who Can Outsuck The Other?" This might rival Atlanta-Washington for unintentional comedy, but can't be topped unless one of the receivers fumbles during a premature touchdown celebration or something.
Arizona Cardinals @ Seattle Seahawks (-10.5)
Lucas: Seahawks. Trust me, I'm abiding by the "Don't bet against Seattle at home" rule.
Pittsburgh Steelers @ Green Bay Packers (-2.5)
Lucas: Packers. Even if Rodgers isn't ready this week, this team has to be flying high with confidence after the Dallas win. With one last home game, I think Green Bay comes out and wins. You know, unless someone from Pittsburgh decides to spear Tim Masthay like Kevin Huber was last Sunday. That would be unforgivable.
Oakland Raiders @ San Diego Chargers (-10.5)
Lucas: Raiders. Look, Oakland's defense sucks. They got shredded last week. I don't know that San Diego has quite the same weaponry to replicate that. Rivers will have a good game, but Oakland will beat the spread. Take the points.
New England Patriots @ Baltimore Ravens (-2.5)
Lucas: Ravens. Allow me to echo Aaron Rodgers and thank Justin Tucker. That field goal was amazing. Back home, I like their chances against a somewhat reeling Pats team.
Sunday Night
Chicago Bears @ Philadelphia Eagles (-2.5)
Lucas: Eagles. Let's say the Bears can get Lance Briggs back this week. Do you really think that even with him the Eagles won't absolutely rip this defense to shreds? This sets the stage next week for Aaron Rodgers to promptly tear apart the Bears defense and steal the division. *fingers crossed*
Monday Night
Atlanta Falcons @ San Francisco 49ers (-11.5)
Lucas: Falcons. As bad as I want to, I can't lay the points here. I'm still not sure what to make of the Niners this year, other than their fan base being both clever and classy in one fell swoop.
Records So Far
Lucas: 123-105 (12-4 last week)
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