2018 COAS Pigskin Pick 'Em: Week 6

I think last week was a week that... most of the coalition would like to forget as we move on to our sixth week of picking NFL games.

To be fair, when I say "most of the coalition," I mainly mean me. Adam took four of our six disputed games and he has pulled within one game of me for the column lead (note that the ESPN standings have us tied due to a picking error a couple weeks ago). But I had a historically bad Sunday, missing literally every afternoon game. If I hadn't swept the entire primetime slate I would have broken Geoffrey Clark's mark for worst week in contest history. That horrific day took me from being around the 91st percentile among all ESPN Pigskin Pick 'Em players down to the 62nd. Life comes at you fast.

Meanwhile, among the rest of the group I'm thankful for the early advantage over Adam as that's what's now keeping me out of the group basement. I'm now tied with Aiden, who had the best week of the group, and a game behind Jen, who split a pair of hero picks over the weekend. Kristen remains a game up for first place in the group on Joe, who followed up an on fire weekend with a bit of a dud. You can view how we've all picked in relation to each other here.

As I attempt to cling to my lead over Adam and try to climb back up in the standings, some weird things are happening in the column this week. Adam and I disagree on six and a half games out of the 15. How does this work, you ask? Read on and find out.

Thursday Night

Philadelphia Eagles @ New York Giants (+2.5)
Lucas: Eagles. Nothing says bounceback week like playing a team whose star wide receiver is back to doing diva things. At least he wasn't on a boat a few days before no-showing again...

Adam: Eagles. I don't care that the Giants almost beat the Panthers last week. They did not win, not that OBJ didn't try with a 57 yard TD pass... though Barkley messed that up almost by dropping the ball at the 1/4 yard line.

Sunday, Early Afternoon

Tampa Bay Buccaneers @ Atlanta Falcons (-3.5)
Lucas: Falcons. Okay, let's try this again, Atlanta. You're at home this time against another god-awful defense. DON'T F*** IT UP.
Adam: Falcons. Matt Ryan and crew are the best 1-4 team that I think I may have ever seen. No doubt in my mind that the ball has not fallen their way. I think things change this week.

Buffalo Bills @ Houston Texans (-7.5)
Lucas: Bills. Because nothing in the world makes sense anymore. I don't understand the Bills, so I'm going to take the points and pray they don't crap the bed like they seem to keep doing every other week.
Adam: Bills. Looking much better than their opening week effort. Other than that, not much else to talk about. Oh also, the Texans just barely beat the crappy Cowboys, though that's not saying much.

Chicago Bears @ Miami Dolphins (+2.5)
Lucas: Bears. Matt Nagy teased us two weeks ago with that formation that included Chase Daniel and Mitch Trubisky, which is the perfect excuse to revive my call for someone to use the Flying Dragon/Dragonfly from Eyeshield 21 depending on what translation you read.

Lucas note: Really, the Saints are the perfect team to try this, since they could run the Golden Dragonfly using Drew Brees, Taysom Hill, and Teddy Bridgewater. My body is ready.

Adam: Bears. I just don't have much to say bad about the Bears' defense right now. Mack is a beast; worth every penny we paid for him. And MitchMagic is here.

Pittsburgh Steelers @ Cincinnati Bengals (-2.5)
Lucas: Bengals. Beating another dumpster fire doesn't miraculously make you not a dumpster fire. We've also got a couple weeks before Le'Veon Bell finally comes back, so let's get the potshots in while we still can. That said, Mike Tomlin is now my spirit animal.

Adam: Steelers. I am seeing a theme right now, and that is more cow bell... OK, maybe not yet this week, but its coming...

Los Angeles Chargers @ Cleveland Browns (+0.5)
Lucas: Browns. I'd feel better getting a couple more points, but I'll take it. Cleveland keeps finding ways to make it agonizing for their fans, but it's resulted in a couple wins so far.
Adam: Chargers. Look, don't get me wrong, I think the Browns have a great chance in this game: at home, coming off their first win on a Sunday in over 1000 days. Olde Man Rivers just lights it up with Allen and Gordon.

Indianapolis Colts @ New York Jets (-2.5)
Lucas: Jets. New York ran roughshod over the Broncos last week, and combine that with going up against a not very good Colts team, and I'll lay the points here.
Adam: Colts. Seems like I am picking a lot of road teams this week. Don't really like either team, but I'll lean towards the veteran QB, Luck, over the rookie.

Seattle Seahawks vs Oakland Raiders (+2.5)
Lucas: Seahawks. I should have known better than to make a Jon Gruden/Kira parallel on a week where the Raiders were facing a team with an L predominantly in its name. Alas. Have fun with a crappy game, England.
Adam: Pass. Carroll and Gruden? Are you F$@KING me?! Its like asking me which turd I like more. NEITHER! I refuse to pick; neither is worthy of me moving my finger to select their team. I feel dirty even writing this.
Adam note: I really did leave this one blank.
Lucas note: If London doesn't declare war on us after this game, it'll be nothing short of a miracle. Also, thanks for the freebie.

Arizona Cardinals @ Minnesota Vikings (-10.5)
Lucas: Cardinals. I'm sorry, what have the Vikings done to make me think they should be double digit favorites against anyone? Sure, they squeaked out a win in Philly to avenge their beatdown back in January, but the Cardinals have actually been giving teams fits lately and just got their first win. Give me the points.
Adam: Vikings. The line's got me scared; I know DJ is coming off a 2 touchdown performance, but I don't see that being repeated. The Vikings on home turf, Cousins, Thielen and Diggs get crazy. Combine for 250 yards and four touchdowns.

Carolina Panthers @ Washington Redskins (-1.5)
Lucas: Panthers. Because how can you go against Jaime Moreno and Luis Moreno, Jr.?

Adam: Panthers. Not quite a Super Cam last week, more like a Super Gano. I needed a cigarette after listening to that call...

Sunday, Late Afternoon

Los Angeles Rams @ Denver Broncos (+6.5)
Lucas: Rams. LA almost seems to be trending in the wrong direction, but Todd Gurley has to be drooling at the prospect of facing a defense that just gave up 323 yards on the ground to the Jets. Also, the Broncos went three weeks without a passing touchdown before getting a couple this past week. A banged up Rams secondary thanks you.
Adam: Rams. There is not much that can stop the Rams right now other than the Rams themselves. Several minor injuries have popped up, but should not keep them down.

Jacksonville Jaguars @ Dallas Cowboys (+2.5)
Lucas: Jaguars. When Jason Garrett finally gets the axe, he can embrace his Manifest Destiny of joining the long line of Neverending Story villains: The Nothing, The Emptiness, The Nasties and now, The Clap.

Adam: Jaguars. This is going to be the Garbage Bowl of the week. I bet the final score is something like 11 (three field goals and a safety) to 6. The cries here in Dallas is someone must go; Head Coach or Offensive Coordinator. Personally I don't think it matters, Dak is Dak (Google translation Dak = Garbage).
Lucas note: You refused to pick Seahawks-Raiders, and this is the Garbage Bowl? Regardless, I tried to do an edited screenshot of Google Translate to make Dak translate to garbage, but I think plugging Dak in, having it autopick the language and seeing what happens works pretty well too.

Baltimore Ravens @ Tennessee Titans (+2.5)
Lucas: Titans. Taking the points here between a pair of teams that lost heartbreakers this past week but are both halfway decent. We'll probably have another 9-6 game here or something.
Adam: Titans. I am going against my gut here as the Titans have played games much closer I have thought in the past, so a 2.5 point start is fine by me.

Sunday Night

Kansas City Chiefs @ New England Patriots (-3.5)
Lucas: Chiefs. I look forward to needing to change this out next week.

Adam: Patriots.

Monday Night

San Francisco 49ers @ Green Bay Packers (-9.5)
Lucas: Packers. Look, I'll be honest. My gut said take the points, especially since Mason Crosby caught the yips and the Packers played like crap in Detroit. But nothing cures the ails quite like a bad 49ers team without its star quarterback, and the Packers have for the most part gotten up for their home games. I'll take the risk to end the week, but if this turns like it does last week, Mike McCarthy needs to be fired.
Adam: 49ers. I don't like the line. Also someone need to give Crosby directions, he always seems to miss wide right, or is it left... whatever, he just misses.
Lucas note: I'd say, "Too soon," but this is a totally justified potshot. In the interest of being an equal opportunist...

Records So Far
Lucas: 33-45 (3-12 last week)
Adam: 32-46 (5-10 last week)
Geoffrey: 34-44 (4-11 last week)
Joe: 39-39 (5-10 last week)
Aiden: 33-45 (7-8 last week)
Kristen: 40-38 (5-10 last week)
Jen: 34-44 (4-11 last week)